Road Trip

Well,

The year 2007 marks the tenth year my wife has been out of high school.  We found out a week before that a reunion (of sorts) was going to be held at Hugo Lake in Hugo, Oklahoma.  This is where my wife would’ve graduated from high school if her dad’s job hadn’t moved her to Southern California in the middle of her Junior year of High School.

Since, she had a greater attachment to her high school in Oklahoma because she lived there most of her life, she decided that is which reunion she wanted to attend.

Fortunately, Nancy was able to get her scheduled shifted so we could get a Friday and Saturday off to drive down there for the reunion.

I took a half-day off of work, we shipped the “kids” off to the “puppy hotel” and hit the road to Nancy’s homeland.

For the entire time I’ve known Nancy, she has gone on and on about the Indian Nation Turnpike and how it is absolutely horrible.  From a scenery standpoint, it is 10x better than the drive down I35 S to Houston.  But it has one major detractor.  Somewhere between Tinker AFB and Shawnee we lose our cell phone signal and we don’t get it back until we get to the same point.  So the entire time we were gone we’d be without a cell phone.

Well, half-way down the turnpike, we noticed the car was starting to drag and pull when trying to go up hills.  It was behaving like my motorcycle does after winter.

Immediately, I just assumed that we got some bad gas.  I recently switched to the low octane gas under the insistance of friends who told me I was wasting money by purchasing the middle-grade gas.  I was just hoping that we got to Nancy’s dad’s house (where we would be sleeping) before it died.

We got there alright and Nancy’s dad and I went to the gas station to put premium gas in the tank and a bottle of STP.  We hoped that it would make the problem go away.

The next morning was the day of the reunion.  As the day went on the car just got worse.  Our biggest problem was that since we didn’t have cell phones we had no way to stay in touch with the other people in the group.  So we kept trying to stay with them despite the car running like crap.

Eventually, the “Check Engine” light came on.  This was the final straw for me and I insisted that we went to Nancy’s dad’s house and stopped driving the car before it died for good.

We got to her dad’s and he was nice enough to swap us for one of his rather new vehicles where we were able to catch up with the group at the Hugo Rodeo that was going on at the same time.

Well, it was decided that we’ll leave the car in Hugo and borrow one of her dad’s cars to get home.  Nancy had to get to work the next day.  Someone was going to take it to the Toyota dealership for us and we’ll return with the borrowed car when our car was fixed. 

Well, we got a call about the vehicle the day after it was dropped off.  Here is where it gets interesting.

Apparently, when we took the car into the shop a year ago to get the 100K mile service, the spark plugs were changed.  Whoever did the work left the socket for tightening the plugs in the engine.  It took a year (about 14K miles) for it to do it’s final damage.  It trashed the sparkplug which resulted in one cylinder not firing anymore.  It was a simple fix.  But, while they were trying to do the inital determination they found a leak in the head gasket.  This was very expensive to fix ($450).

Needless to say, we had to make the trip back the next day and I had to take another day off of work.  But, we have the car back now and it’s running like a champ.

Wasting away in Tornadoville

Well, it’s 12:23AM and I’m sitting in front of the TV switching between network channels.  We are having tornadoes once again dropping all around me.

So far, I’ve been lucky and they are not close enough to me to warrant the tornado sirens to go off, but I’m afraid to go to bed or risk sleeping through the siren (it’s awfully faint from this location).

I haven’t even had a chance to hit the showers after my 45 minutes on the treadmill because I didn’t want to get an uninvited guest while showering.

My wife just called from the hospital to inform me they have announced a Code Black because tornadoes have touched down real close to them and they need to be prepared for potential victims.

I told her that I’d take a hurricane any day over this.  This is the 3rd night in a row of this crap!  At least with a hurricane you know which way it’s headed and you can get out of the way and pray that it turns.  Here, it’s like Russian Roulette.

Welcome to OKC…Bitch!

Well, I just got my first Tornado scare……

The siren went off, then the radio did it’s Emergency Broadcast sound, but this time it wasn’t a test.  We were being told to take shelter.

I scrambled to grab my laptops because the information contained within are crucial for my company and my personal finances.  Fortunately, my home office is right next to the bathroom that serves as our storm shelter.

I went to go try to grab the dogs which I knew would be a challenge when the warning was lifted.  The tornado had already touched down…..15 minutes down the road from where I was.

I called Nancy at the hospital to let her know I was alright to find out that the hospital had already called a “Code Black” and she didn’t know why.  I told her that a tornado touched down on a highway and took some cars out.

She’s in for a long,  long night in the ER and hopefully I don’t have to do this hokey pokey again and try to get my butt into the bathroom/storm shelter

Sicky McSickster

Well, no good turn ever goes unpunished….

I was out-of-town helping with a project for my company and as we like to do, we exceeded our goals and delivered results early.  That didn’t come without a price.  Between Monday and Friday I clocked 74 hours and an additional 4 hours today (Saturday).  Of those 74 hours, I spent 10 hours traveling between Houston and OKC.

By the time I woke up Thursday morning (after clocking 51 hours), I woke up with the beginnings of a soar throat and cough.  So, I did what I normally do when this happens.  I start drinking water like it’s going out of style.  Well, for the first time, this didn’t help.  My throat just kept getting more sore by the hour.  By the time we went out to dinner that night, my voice was starting to get hoarse.

Well, despite being exhausted, I didn’t get much sleep.  After being out cold for about 2 hours, I awoke in pain.  First I threw up and threw up.  This must’ve been from the drainage.  Then the pain in my throat hit me.  I couldn’t have been in more pain if I swallowed a pine cone whole.  I tried to suffer through it, but by 2AM I needed to say something to someone because I was just miserable.

So I called Nancy.  She was the good nurse that she is and told me the proper things.  I needed to drink more water.  Well, anyone who has been on a high water diet knows that drinking lots of water and sleep don’t go hand-in-hand.  You either sleep in wet shorts or you are running back and forth to the restroom.  I think the only way one could afford to do this and sleep is if they are capable of putting in their own Foley catheter.  Then you can pee and sleep at the same time.

Well, I whined to her on the phone for a bit but I could barely speak so I cut the conversation short.  It was at this time that I remembered that when I have a problem with coughing due to drainage, I would prop myself up with pillows.  So, I scrounged up all the pillows I could find and build a wedge out of them.  This seemed to help alot.  At least enough that I got a few more hours of sleep.

Morning came and we swung buy CVS pharmacy to pick up some throat remedies.  So I picked up some CVS-branded Chloraseptic® and some cough drops.  Both of these seemed to help, but the Muscinex I took earlier seemed to start to make me foggy headed and I had to struggle to continue to be productive at work.  Plus, I needed to catch a 5:45PM flight back to OKC.

I caught my shuttle to the airport after it being almost 45 minutes late and made it through security without issue.  I was worried because on this trip, I was bringing back all the stuff I was leaving in Houston while i was traveling back and forth since late November.  Well, I didn’t want to check my back for one 4 fl. oz. bottle of contact lens solution.  I know the regulations are 3 fl. oz. or smaller, but I looked and couldn’t find a 3 fl. oz. bottle of contact solution in my brand.  Well, security didn’t say anything.

Then, as luck would have it, my flight was late.  Then it was overbooked.  Then it was hot, hot, hot.  I was sweating the whole way home.  I tried to sleep, but it was just too hot.

It wasn’t until I stepped out of the OKC airport into the 48 degree air that I realized that the plane wasn’t hot, I was.  I was still burning up in the cold air. 

Well, Nancy had asked me to go get some milk on my way back from the airport.  At this time, it was around 8PM and I felt like death warmed over.  So, I decide to go to Wal-Mart.  I prefer Albertsons for groceries, but I wanted to see if I could get some more knock-off Chloraseptic® and I didn’t know what Albertson’s selection would be.  Wal-Mart is also a tad out of the way, but I didn’t want to stop twice.

I get to wal-mart and pick out some drugs to try and help me sleep grabbed the milk and came home.

Naturally, Belle and Coco were ecstatics to see me.  I let them out of the confines of their entrapment (the kitchen) and they emptied their little bladders in the appropriate location.  Then I fed them.  I hit the couch to watch a little TV and maybe play a little XBox 360, but I never really made it far.  I was out cold on the couch.  I woke up at 10 and dragged myself to the bed where I remained until 15 hours later.

I hate being sick, but soar throats, to me, are a torture worse than death.

The Mighty Battler of Accumulated Sleet

The mighty battler of accumulated sleet

Well, as some of you may know, I live in Oklahoma City now and if you’ve been watching the news you’d know that we just got hit by some severe winter weather.

Nancy and I have been pretty much cooped up since Friday because we’ve had a constant barrage of sleet falling on our fair land.

Nancy wanted me to dig out the front stairs as it fell, but I felt we should wait until most of it had fallen. Well, that day happened to be today (Sunday).

So, I dug out my thermal shirt and my old snowboarding gloves and face gator and went outside to tackle the sleet.

Nancy had the intelligence and foresight to purchase a snow shovel before the frozen stuff started to fall. Unfortunately, after sitting on the stairs for a couple days, the weight of the sleet must’ve melted the stuff on the bottom because we had a good half inch of ice on the stairs with about 4-6 inches of sleet on top of it.

So, the snow shovel was kinda useless. Fortunately, I still had my landscaping shovel that we purchases when we built our flowerbeds at the Houston house. It has a flat blade instead of a curved one. It proved to be quite useful.

Nancy came out and took a few pictures because she needed some winter weather pictures to go with some scrapbooking embellishments that she had in her collection.

After getting the stairs scrapped, I had to salt them. So I went to the garage and grabbed one of the 2 fifty pound bags or salt Nancy had purchased with the snow shovel.

Well, it became heavy quickly. I had to walk around the entire complex to get from my garage to the front stoop. So when I got to the stairs, I couldn’t hold onto the bag anymore and it fell out of my hands and hit the ground. Well, the bag blew it’s sides out and there was salt everywhere.

Fortunately, Nancy brought me a large Ziploc plastic container that I used to scoop up the salt and get it onto the stairs.

Well, now the stairs are clear and I have a sore back, but it was a good outlet to blow off some steam.

Enough Ramblings to Fit in a One Quart Bag

I have been an active air traveller since I was in single digits. My mileage really racked up in my teen years when I was logging time between the US East Coast and the Republic of Singapore (where my family had been relocated).

All that time in airports starts to teach you a thing or two about travelling efficiently. I guess that is where I learned to travel with as little luggage as possible…preferably carry-ons only.

Travel has changed a lot since my teen years thanks to the ever changing political environment and the increased desire to use our transportation systems as tools of destruction.

The first thing that happened was that the metal detectors became more sensitive. Then you had to remove your video cameras and laptop computers and run them through separately. Then it became mandatory to remove one’s shoes. Finally, you can only take toiletries that are 3 oz or smaller and only enough that fits within a 1 quart bag.

I cannot speak for the other road warriors who spend more time in airport security that they do in rush hour traffic, but I am constantly flabbergasted by how many people seem to totally surprise when they get to the metal detector and are suddenly stopped for violating all these “new” security measures.

Over the years I have developed quite an efficient way to get through the security process.

Before entering the security line, I find a nice place to to the side. I take off my belt and put it in my carry-on bag. I pull my driver’s license out of my wallet and put the license in my pocket.  Then I put my wallet and my cellphone in my carry-on. Then I check my pockets and make sure everything except my driver’s license and boarding pass are properly stored in my carry-on bag.

I then pull my laptop(s) out of my backpack. I loosen up the shoestring on my shoes. Then I enter the security queue. After getting checked by the initial screeners to make sure my ID matches my boarding pass, I get herded to the metal detector and X-Ray machine.

Since I have already prepared, I just have to drop my laptops in bins, slide my shoes off and put them into another bin. If I have a coat, it gets put in with the shoes. I load the bins along with my carry-on bag onto the conveyor and walk through the metal detector.

Now, on the other side is my other annoyance.

Nothing irritates me more than the people who feel they need to get “dressed” right at the mouth of the X-Ray machine. As soon as their stuff gets spit out the other side they start putting things on.

Please people, gather your stuff and move to another location away from the flow of traffic and deal with your re-dressing. This is about as annoying as those skiers who feel they need to drop to the ground right after they get off the ski lift. Some of these people have the gaul to get irritated with me when I try to reach around them to get my stuff as it comes off the belt. I just gather my laptop(s), my shoes and coat and walk to the chairs that are typically located right after you leave the security area. Then I can take my time putting everything back in it’s place.

I for one would be all for a measure that would allow for separate lines for more seasoned travelers. Heck, I’d even allow myself to be subjected to extra background screenings so that I can get special clearance so that one doesn’t have to go through this kind of ordeal with the casual traveler

Dashing through the Snow….

One of the components of my job is that there is travel involved. This past week I had to take a jaunt down to H-Town to spend some “Face Time” with my company. Being that I now live in Oklahoma, they are starting to forget what I look like and only know me as my avatar on my IM.

The trip itself was uneventful. I went down there and did what I’m paid to do. It was the trip back that I was dreading the whole time.

Unlike my previous trips back to Texas after moving to Oklahoma, this one didn’t involve a 7-9 hour car ride. I got to enjoy the luxury and comfort of an airplane. I left the driving to the capable hands of the Continental Airline pilots.

It was my first night down there that my wife called me and informed me that the weather guys on the news were saying that we were going to get some winter precipitation on the day I was coming back. She further dampened the news by informing me that her coworkers at the hospital told her the Will Rogers World Airport isn’t shy about shutting down. So, I knew then that it was going to be fun coming home.

Each day, I got a new report on what the weather prediction was going to be. It just kept getting worse. Then Wednesday came. The day before my “supposed” departure home. The storm rolled in early. The temperature dropped colder and sooner than predicted. This can be a blessing in disguise. If it’s really cold you can avoid the peril of freezing rain. Also, if the ground is cold enough for long enough, any snow or sleet you get can accumulate instead of turning to water and then freezing.

I checked the airport’s website and Continental’s website and there were no notifications about the cancellation of my flight.

Departure day came. I was only working a half day and wanted to get to the airport soon because I didn’t know how this whole airport shuttle thing I was using worked on the trip back. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I checked the airport and continental again and no closings and my flight was listed as still “On Time”.

A co-worker had to loan me a coat and gloves because it was 20 degrees in OKC and with the windchill it was in single digits. This wasn’t the forecast I had when I packed so all I had was a sweatshirt to keep warm. I didn’t want to freeze solid trying to get back to my car.

I got to the airport and the line through security was short. I was standing on the other side of the security putting my shoes and belt back on when I looked up at the board listing departures and noticed a flashing red notation “CANCELED”. I knew what I was going to see….. sure enough, it was my flight.

So I called Nancy up quickly to tell her that my flight was cancelled and at this point I didn’t know what the game plan was going to be but I’d call as soon as I knew.

I quickly found a Continental desk and talked to someone. Sure enough, my flight was cancelled. I was given a guaranteed seat on the 9:58PM flight out, but there were several before and if I was willing I could try to get on one of them standby. I was like, “Hell Yeah!”. I knew if I had to take the 9:58PM flight, it would get me in around midnight which would only mean the situation would be worse.

Then the guy at the desk gave me the bad news. I was on the standby list for the next available flight, but it was on the far side of Concourse C. I was on the farthest away point in Concourse B and I had to take a tram to get between concourses.

So I did the only thing I could do. I utilized that training I got during the Singapore days when my Dad’s company’s travel person liked to give us 30 minutes between connecting flights. I strapped down my backpack and took off like OJ Simpson in the old Hertz rent-a-car commercials. As Forest Gump said, “And I was runnin’”. I made a few wrong turns because the signage at George H.W. Bush International Airport (otherwise known as IAH) are atrocious, but I got there with a few moments to spare. I went to the desk, showed them my standby boarding pass and was told to step to the side with the “others” and they’ll be calling names shortly.

The “others” was a group of 20 or more people. Apparently, my flight was one of two flights cancelled to OKC. So, I sat patiently talking to the “others”. Mainly, we talked about the weather where we were going. By now, we’ve heard that the snow was accumulating fast and they were expecting 6 inches or more.

As soon as we saw that the plane was holding the Lamar University Basketball Team, I knew I wasn’t getting on board. By this time, I still hadn’t told Nancy what was going on because I didn’t want to get her hopes up. Plus, my cell phone battery was on one bar and all the plugs were occupied.

Eventually, they made the announcement that anyone who had a confirmed seat better get on the plane because they are about to start giving seats away. I was still not hopeful. I was right, I didn’t get on the plane, but I did see that one lady, who had a confirmed seat, got screwed. She ran up as they were closing the doors to find out that they gave her seat away. All she was told, was that she “should’ve been there on time”.

At this point, we were told to head back to the same place I was on Concourse B to try and get on the next flight at 6:18PM. The current time was 3:00PM. Fortunately, this time I could walk back.

I got back to Concourse B and checked in for Standby on the 6:18PM flight. Now where they had us waiting for this flight was on the very end of Concourse B. It was basically a bus terminal. There were 5 gates lettered A – E with buses parked outside to transport passengers to the planes waiting on the tarmac. It was freezing in here despite the hundreds of people crammed in the large holding tank. Those 5 gates all had giant sliding doors that were constantly opening and closing. Now, you see, by this time Houston had a big temperature drop themselves. It was 40-something outside.

At this point, I called Nancy and gave her an update. I told her my cell phone battery situation and how I was worried I wouldn’t have a phone for my drive home through the snow. She was very adamant that I find a plug.

So I started looking for a plug. There was only one plug in this entire holding tank and it was being blocked by people sitting in seats and they were not using it. So I decided to start wandering. I kept finding plugs, but I kept finding people tethered to them. It’s not until you need a plug that you start noticing how many people work at the airport. Everywhere you look, there are laptops tethered to the plugs.

By this point, it was about 4PM and I hadn’t eaten all day, so I decided to grab a #1 Value Meal at McDonald’s in order to recharge before trying to find a plug. I must say, I love me a Big Mac. Nancy developed a taste aversion to McDonald’s after getting really sick back in college. Her sickness didn’t have anything to do with McDonald’s, but since it was the last thing she ate, her brain has made the association. Well, I was alone and I could eat it so I did.

I wandered back to the tank and grabbed a seat where I could keep an eye on that lone plug. I should state a correction, I did find another plug, but it was near the bathroom. I didn’t feel like having people stepping over me to get to the bathroom.

Eventually the person who was occupying the space near the plug got up and left and I took the seat. I hooked up my cellphone and called Nancy.

I got the latest weather report and found out that they were calling for it to get worse before it gets better. The highways were ice rinks covered in snow and wrecks were the news for the day…..great….

While I waited for 6:00 to show up, I was able to get a bit of work done.

Finally the time came for them to start calling standby passengers. I quickly logged off my computer and ran to the desk. As I said, this was a large holding tank so all the overhead announcements were stepping on each other. I didn’t want to miss my name and I didn’t want to wait until 9:58PM to fly out of here.

My name was called! But we were told that there was a strong possibility the plane wasn’t going to leave because it was near whiteout conditions in OKC.

I called Nancy as I was on the bus to let her know that a) I was on my way to the plane b) it might not take off

After sitting on the plane for 30 minutes, everyone was starting to wonder what the holdup was. Typically, one the standby people get on the plane, they shut the door and leave. That wasn’t happening this time. Well, it turned out that they originally planned on only allowing half the passengers on the plane and to put on extra gas in case the plane needed to land at a different airport or circle a lot before landing. For some reason they changed their mind. So, they had to remove all the extra gas they put on.

So now, we are at the point where we are on our descent into Oklahoma. The pilot came over the loudspeaker and told us to look out the window to see what we were up against. I pulled up the shade and looked out. Everytime the lights on the wings lit up, all you could see was driving snow. Plus, you couldn’t see the ground. All you could see was clouds.

Eventually we broke through the clouds and we were very close to the ground. The runway was covered in snow. I’m not a nervous flier by this time I was a bit concerned. Snow isn’t exactly the idea landing surface for an object that is attempting to go from several hundred miles per hour to a complete stop.

We came down with a thump and kept thumping. I looked out the window and we were going over small snow bumps that looked almost like speed bumps, but they were created by the blowing winds. I’m sure it helped us slow down.

Once I was in the airport, I could see the people sleeping everywhere who got trapped there. I thought to myself, “At least they are trapped here instead of their cars”

Now I had to try and remember where I parked my car. I knew it was near the elevator, but I forgot which floor. Now is the time I was glad for the coat that my coworker loaned me

I found my truck, but some idiot decided he was going to park mere inches from my driver’s side door. So, I had to climb in on the passenger side.

My truck almost didn’t start. I guess the cold did a number on the battery. I let it idle for a long time to build up some heat before heading out.

Just to illustrate how strong the winds were. My truck was parked in the innermost part of the garage and there weren’t any openings to the outside visible. There was snow accumulated on all the vehicles

I made my way out of the garage and as I pulled out, I was greeted with a blanket of snow. So much snow, you didn’t know where the road was. I just pointed my truck toward the pay station and hoped I didn’t run over and curbs. This was very sketchy driving. I have a lot of experience driving in different snow conditions form my days living in Colorado. But, this was the first time I’ve driven in these conditions with a truck. I do know that trucks are rear-wheel drive vehicles and without added weight in the back, they can fishtail on snow and ice.

I was experiencing the difference of driving a truck as I made my way to the pay station. If I hit the gas too much too quick, the back end would start to slide out. I made it alright and paid. Then it was the trek to find the road to the highway and the various exits

I knew as long as I took my time and other drivers didn’t get in my way, I’d get there. I took my time, but the other drivers didn’t stay out of my way. People in lesser vehicles than mine were just blowing by at 40+ mph. There was no exposed asphalt and the snow was packed and about 3-4 inches thick. I was just waiting for one of these idiots to hit me.

To top it off most of them were flashing their lights at me to tell me to get out of their way. Trust me, there was plenty of room on either side of me to go around

I finally made it to highway 44 to get back home. The highway started out pretty clear. At least, one lane was. Everyone kind of fell into a line and spaced themselves out. We drove about 30 MPH. Then the idiots were back. They were the ones who had SUVs or trucks and felt they could drive close to the speed limit.

Now you have to imagine the environment. This is a 4 lane highway with only one lane being used. So you have this massive amount of space to the left and right. These people would come rushing up on your rear, flash their lights then blow by on the left or right. A few people decided to roll down their windows to yell at me, laugh at me, or tell me I’m #1 with hand signals.

I finally made it to my exit, I pull off the highway and slowly make it up the large steep off-ramp and then I get what I dreaded…..a red light and I’m having to stop in deep snow. The light eventually turns green and I slowly press the gas. Nothing. Just spinning tires. I give it more gas and I slowly creep forward and then traction. I make the turn and make my way toward home.

Then I see what I thought I’d never see….. kids doing doughnuts with their jacked-up 4-wheel drive trucks on the road. The road to my house is a minor highway and these kids were playing like it was a parking lot. I just hoped they didn’t hit me.

Needless to say, I got home without an issue. A normally 15 minute trip from the airport took over an hour and I’m left with one heck of a memory

The Motorcycle Diaries

Many people who know me wouldn’t think that I had a motorcycle, but I do. It is a 1996 Yamaha Virago 535 Special Edition.

It was a somewhat impulsive purchase I made on my 30th birthday. It probably was the single event the brought on my getting married because shortly after purchasing the steel horse, I met my soon-to-be wife.

Well, I needed to take the bike over to the Tag Center to get the VIN inspected so I can get my Oklahoma Title. It was a very frustrating day. The bike started without issue, but as soon as I tried to throttle up, it just conked off.

Well a friend of mine gave me a few things to look for and I decided to try and deal with those things today. I took the seat off the bike so I could get to where the fuel filter and other important hoses are and noticed that the battery was severly bulging.

It turns out that the vent tubing for the liquid battery had somehow gotten kinked and was preventing the gasses from escaping. I probably caught a major explosing before it actually happened. As soon as I unkinked the tube, I heard this loud whoosh of air like you’d heard out of an air compressor and the battery went back to it’s original shape.

Well, I needed to get the battery out to check the fluid level because I couldn’t get a good angle from within it’s housing. I normally would just remove the two fuel lines than ran overtop and pull it out. But, I guess I have neve3r done that before with a full tank of gas, because when I pulled the tubing off this time, gas starts shooting out everywhere.

It was a geyser of gas coming out of the where I pulled the tube out and from the tub itself. I was frantically trying to get the tub back in place. I was successful in replacing the tubing, but I was soaked in gas from the waist down and it was all over the floor of the garage.

I took an entire roll of paper towels to soak up the gas on the floor and I think I started seeing pink elephants from the fumes eminating from my pants.

I guess it’s time I break open the wallet and purchase a repair manual

When one door closes another window must be opened

Well, this marked the first week that Nancy started working the shift that she was hired to work (3PM – 3AM). It started on Sunday night.

To me it was no big deal, I’d head over to my brother’s house and eat some food and watch his family play the PS2.

Well, as soon as Nancy took off, I decided that I would install the new programmeable thermostat we got from Lowe’s. I just cannot stand to use a thermostat where you set it and have to change it manually whenever you want the temperature to change.

Firstly, the part of the wall that holds the thermostat isn’t in an easy to get to area. There is a treadmill in the way and an antique china hutch. So I had to move the china hutch to the left to make room on the wall for the new, wider thermostat.

Naturally, it wasn’t a simple task like I thought it would be. First I had difficulty figuring out how to remove the face off the old thermostat so I could get at the screws to detach it from the wall.
Eventually I had it figured out but not after a few choice words were rolling off my tongue.

I prefer to work these kind of projects when my wife isn’t around because I don’t have to be subjected to her disapproving stares when words that are on the “banned” list are uttered.

So now I have the old thermostat removed and I lined up the new thermostat and found out that the holes in the wall from the old screws were in perfect alignment to the screw holes in the new thermostat. I was sure it was a good sign. I screw the back of the new thermostat in, snap the wires into their appropriate place and put everything in it’s place and step back to admire my handiwork.

At this time I knew I wasn’t going to make it to my brother’s house by 5:30PM for dinner, so I call to tell him. He tells me to just show up whenever I can make it.

Well, I go to program the thermostat and noticed that the thermostat wasn’t flush up against the wall. So I pop the face off and notice that the screws don’t tighten down to the wall. So unscrew the entire thing because I was going to use the little thingies that came with the thermostat that you stick into the drywall to give the screws some
“bite”. Well it looks like I was lucky and I could just push the “thingies” into the wall and tap with the hammer to push them flush.

I wasn’t that lucky. One tap of the hammer caused the thingie to bend over sideways. I was pissed and more “banned” words began flowing.  So I pulled out the instructions to see what size drill bit is suggested.
I go out the garage to get my drill bits and a pair of needle-nose pliers. I use the pliers to pull out the thingie and use the drill bit to open up the hold some more.

I’m the kind of person who throws all the extra parts from projects into my tool box. So I spent the next 30 minutes looking for some extra thingies because I don’t tend to use them. I was sure the one I ruined was not useable anymore. I wasn’t lucky enough to find a thingie of the same size so I just grabbed one from the tool box and mumbled my way back to the thermostat.

Well, I got lucky and the the thingie was still useable so I tapped both of them into the wall and was able to screw the thermostat plate tight against the wall and got the thermostat reassembled. Everything seemed to be working.

So I called my brother to let him know that I was done with the thermostat and all I needed to do was feed and walk the dogs and head on over.

So the dogs got taken care of and I decided I should put my tools away before heading to my brothers. So I head out to the garage and as I make my way through the door, I pull the door behind me out of habit so the dogs won’t run out. As I walked into the garage, I heard a click and immediate turned around screaming, “NO!”. I knew what I had just
done. I locked myself out. I reached to check the doorknob fully aware that the answer would be that the door wasn’t going to open.

You see, the new house we are in has a locking doorknob. There isn’t a deadbolt like what I’m used to. I’m not used to the lock being on the doorknob so out of habit, I just closed the door since I have always had to manually lock the door iwth a key.

Well, the first thing I did was looked to see if there was a window that wasn’t locked. Which there wasn’t. But there was a window, that for some reason wasn’t on it’s track.

I called my brother to tell him I wasn’t coming because I was locked out. His first suggestion was that I break out a window. I didn’t like that idea because I didn’t want to piss of my wife or the property manager. His next suggestion was that I knock the doorknob off the door. This would cause the part of the door that has the lock on it to be removed and therefore rendering the door openable. Well, just as luck would have it, the hammer was locked in side.

My sister-in-law suggested that I try to find something flexible enough to slide through the side of the door to pop the latch, but that was unobtainable too.

Well, I decided to walk up to the property manager’s office to see if there was anyone there, but there wasn’t. So I walked back.

Well, as I was digging through my toolboxes for the umpteenth time, I noticed a roll of very stiff electrical wire that was left over from an installation of a garage door opener and I looked at it with a hint of possibility. I was wondering if I could fashion a loop on one end and fish it through the crack in the window and pop the other latch. After about 10 tries I got it and was in. Granted the window only opened a little bit and I had to do a limbo number to get through the window.

Well, I was going in feet first because I’m better balanced that way and step in dog crap. Apparently, my dogs snuck into that room and pooped on the floor near the window. But it didn’t matter, I was in the house.

I immediatly called my wife and let her know I was no longer locked out of the house just in case she got the first message I left when the ordeal all started. So that she would know that I wasn’t sitting on the back stoop with only my cellphone.

Afterwards, I called my brother and let him know I was in the house now. He asked me if I was still coming over and I told him that I would if he was still willing to accept the company. He asked me to grab a few Texas beers I had in the fridge (beer from Texas has a greater alcohol content than Oklahoma beer). I grabbed 4 Shiner Bocks and hit the road.

That beer sure hit the spot….mmmmmm

The Acceptance of Charitable Service

Well, on Monday I drove down from Oklahoma City back to Houston. For all practical purposes, I made a 450 mile trip so that I could mow the lawn on my house in Houston I haven’t been able to sell thus far.

When I got to Houston on Monday afternoon, I wasn’t able to mow the lawn because it was pouring outside.

So I was able to get the lawn mowed this evening. After cooling off and getting shower, I went across the street to return to our neighbor their keys we had in case of an emergency.

Well, my neighbor is LDS and he was trying to get me to allow him to mow my lawn so that I don’t have to drive all the way and back just to mow. I’m having a hard time accepting his offer of charitable service.

I think it has to do with one or both of two things:

1. I was always taught that one doesn’t get something without an expectation of something in return. In other words, if he mows my lawn, he’ll expect some kind of favor in return
2. I am somewhat of a micro-manager and I wouldn’t trust that it would get done to my satisfaction

This is really bothering me