And that is how Weird Al introduce a new video on his MySpace page.
I have to admit that the most entertaining part of the White and Nerdy video that I highlighted here.
I was just tickled pink when a co-worker pointed out to me that Weird Al posted a video of the entire song being performed with Donny Osmond doing his dancing. So, if you like the self-deprecating humor of Donny Osmond in things like the White and Nerdy video, I present to you Donny Osmond…definitely white and nerdy:
Who are you to ask me to leave?
I made you who you are today.
I gave you all the riches you hold so dear.
You can’t get rid of me that easy.
I am not a tumor that can just be excised.
I am your excuse, your alibi.
I’m who you fall back on when things go wrong, when life is unsure or you don’t know which way is up.
I’m not going to go quietly
I will raise hell
You begged me to be here
You begged me to never leave.
I make you feel right, I make you feel strong,
I make you feel loved when you were alone in this world.
I’m that family member that came to a visit and never left
I am the stray dog that you decided to feed.
Your fear feeds me
Your anxiety justifies me
Your lack of hope ensures my tenure
So you say that you are done with me
That I’m unhealthy for you
I’m not that easy to get rid of
Cause I’m that monster under your bed
Get rid of me if you can
I’m your second skin
Get rid of me if you want
But you’ll end up asking me back
So you say that won’t be happen
I hope you are right
Cause if you don’t your life will be naught
I actually stumbled across this awhile back, but a coworker has brought it to my attention in a whole new manner.
This is an awesome parody by “Weird Al” Yankovic, but I think Donny Osmond in the role of Krayzie Bone from the Chamillionaire video. He is hilarious.
I snatched this video off of YouTube, but there is a much better version on Weird Al’s Myspace Page (direct link to video)
| Your Career Personality: Independent, Insightful, and Ingenious |
 Your Ideal Careers:Architect Artist Business strategist College professor Computer programmer Mathematician Neurologist Philosopher Photographer Video game developer |
My sister-in-law sent this to me:
When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, “I should be Boss because I control all of the body’s responses and functions.” The feet said, “We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go.” The hands said, “We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money.”
Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral Of The Story: You don’t need a brain to be a Boss……any asshole will do.
[Author's Note: This is an attempt by me to write poetry. Take it for what you may.]
Muscles stretched
Tensed, poised feet in the block ready for the gun
BANG!
Feet launching out of the blocks
Feet meet track, track meet feet
Legs pumping like a two cylinder engine
Breaths short and fast
Finish line
Must get there first
Failure is not an option
Not in my dictionary
I don’t know how to fail
No one in front on me
Must beat all my previous times
Must beat all the records
Finish Line…….
Race Over
Another ‘W’ in the Win Column
But I’m never done
No time to rest
Another race
Another race I have to win
Another race to show that I’m the best
Perfection must be maintained
Muscles stretched
Tensed, poised feet in the blocks ready for the gun
BANG!……………..
A distinguished looking young lady was on a flight returning from Switzerland. She found herself seated next to a priest, and asked, “Excuse me Father, may I ask a favor of you?”
“Well, of course Miss. What can I do for you?” he replied.
“Here’s my dilemma: I purchased for myself a very sophisticated electronic hair remover. I paid a lot of money for it, but I really went well over the limits set forth by Customs. I affraid they will confiscate it from me. Could you perhaps hide it through Customs for me under your robes?”
“I certainly could my dear, only I must warn you, I am not ever able to lie.”
“You have such an honest face, Father, surely they will never ask any questions of you.” And with that, she handed him the hair remover.
After landing, they proceeded through Customs, and it became the Father’s turn in line. “Father, do you have anything to declare?” asked the Custom’s officer.
“From the top of my head to my waist, I have nothing to declare, my son.”
Finding this answer a little strange, the custom’s officer proceeded to ask, “And from the waist to the floor, what do you have to declare?”
The Father replied, “I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which has never yet been used.”
Roaring with laughter, the Custom’s officer said, “Go right through Father . . . Next!”
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006……
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave
2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to hlep you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on Television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile 
12. You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list.
AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
